Hinge expert shares dating advice for ambitious nerds
Episode 709: Sam Parr ( https://x.com/theSamParr ) and Shaan Puri ( https://x.com/ShaanVP ) talk to Logan Ury ( https://x.com/loganury ) about how young men can be more successful in dating.
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Show Notes:
(0:00) Intro
(6:28) The secretary problem
(14:43) What's happening with men right now
(21:07) How to do the apps right
(27:32) Meeting someone IRL
(30:03) The power of weak ties
(36:56) How to be a better date
(40:37) Date like a scientist
(45:44) Fuck the spark
(49:02) What's your tendency
(51:00) AI partners
(57:15) Pro tip: join a mens group
(1:03:23) Mental Health vs Mental Fitness
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Links:
• Want Sam's Company Research Playbook? Get it here: https://clickhubspot.com/wve
• Logan Ury - https://www.loganury.com/
• 3 Tendencies Quiz - https://www.loganury.com/quiz
• The School of Life - https://www.youtube.com/@theschooloflifetv
• Mating in Captivity - https://tinyurl.com/bddrnw9c
• How to Not Die Alone - https://tinyurl.com/mupe2ntc
• Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work - https://tinyurl.com/jvz9hhu6
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• Shaan's weekly email - https://www.shaanpuri.com
• Visit https://www.somewhere.com/mfm to hire worldwide talent like Shaan and get $500 off for being an MFM listener. Hire developers, assistants, marketing pros, sales teams and more for 80% less than US equivalents.
• Mercury - Need a bank for your company? Go check out Mercury (mercury.com). Shaan uses it for all of his companies!
Mercury is a financial technology company, not an FDIC-insured bank. Banking services provided by Choice Financial Group, Column, N.A., and Evolve Bank & Trust, Members FDIC
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Check Out Sam's Stuff:
• Hampton - https://www.joinhampton.com/
• Ideation Bootcamp - https://www.ideationbootcamp.co/
• Copy That - https://copythat.com
• Hampton Wealth Survey - https://joinhampton.com/wealth
• Sam’s List - http://samslist.co/
My First Million is a HubSpot Original Podcast // Brought to you by HubSpot Media // Production by Arie Desormeaux // Editing by Ezra Bakker Trupiano
Masculinity Debate: Are Dating Apps Creating A Generation Of Incels?! Lonely Men Are More Dangerous Than Ever!
Are we raising a lost generation of men? Is society failing young boys? In this emergency discussion, Steven sits down with expert guests to explore the recently published ‘Lost Boys Report’.
Scott Galloway is a professor of marketing at NYU Stern School of Business and a member of the advisory council for the American Institute for Boys and Men. Logan Ury is a behavioral scientist turned dating coach and the Director of Relationship Science at Hinge. Together, they bring expertise in culture, psychology, and societal trends to unpack the crisis highlighted in the Lost Boys Report.
They explain:
Why young men are giving up on love, work, and ambition
How toxic masculinity narratives are damaging adolescent boys
Why dating apps may be fuelling loneliness and resentment in young men
How rising violence among young males signals a deeper societal problem
Why traditional paths to success are failing modern boys
00:00 Intro
02:13 The Lost Boys Report
03:46 Who Is Logan and What Does She Do?
05:07 Who Is Scott
06:12 How Did This Happen?
10:38 Fatherless Homes
14:40 Are Boys Mentally Weaker?
16:51 Is the Education System the Problem?
22:49 Where Are Male Role Models?
30:08 What the Stats Say About Dating
34:42 Dating Standards
44:23 Do Women Really Want Emotionally Attuned Men?
46:16 If They're Okay, Always Go on a Second Date
48:06 Men's Groups: Should We Have Them and What Are the Benefits?
54:57 Ads
55:50 Steve's Supportive Group of Friends
1:02:42 The Dangers of Porn for Young Boys
1:08:01 How Scott Helps Men With Porn Addiction
1:13:12 Men Approaching Women in a Post-MeToo Era
1:15:27 Teens Don’t Know How to Ask Girls Out in Person
1:25:22 Do Successful Women Struggle to Find a Partner?
1:28:11 Ads
1:29:14 The Rise of Feminism
1:30:54 Money Equals Identity for Men
1:36:09 Does Money Give Self-Worth to Women?
1:38:42 The Human Dating Boot Camp
1:47:33 How Is the Left Going to Get Men Back?
1:52:16 Advice for Parents of Young Boys
1:55:12 What Scott and Steve Had to Unlearn About Being a Man
2:10:02 Closing Message for the Lost Boys
You can learn more about the March 2025 CSJ Report, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/2kI16MnW6Rb
Follow Scott:
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Twitter - https://g2ul0.app.link/mtdT5dzW6Rb
Website - https://g2ul0.app.link/V8ukmVDW6Rb
Follow Logan:
Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/z6h5BeGW6Rb
Twitter - https://g2ul0.app.link/jzjDZkIW6Rb
Website - https://g2ul0.app.link/5SIP1FOW6Rb
You can purchase Scott’s book, ‘The Algebra of Happiness: The Pursuit of Success, Love and What It All Means’, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/gNRRlBCU6Rb
You can purchase Logan’s book, ‘How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love’, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/4aQGk5EU6Rb
Research document: https://stevenbartlett.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/DOAC-Lost-Boys-Independent-Research-and-Further-Reading.pdf
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Moment 150: The REAL (& Usually Unseen) Reason You’re Struggling With Love & Relationships!: Logan Ury
In this moment, relationship expert and behavioural scientist, Logan Ury discusses what she thinks is the most important part out of all of relationship science: attachment styles. Logan says these styles help you to understand yourself, your previous dating patterns, and who you are attracted to. Our attachment style also explains we are triggered to push people away, as our brains create negative thoughts and look for flaws in a person as an unconscious way of protecting us from getting hurt. However, Logan says that it is possible for 25% of us to change our attachment style. She says this can be done in 2 parts: firstly by understanding your style of attachment, and secondly, by understanding your unconscious triggers you can override them in order to get out of your own way in finding love.
Listen to the full episode here
Apple - https://g2ul0.app.link/sXZ3OZpToHb
Spotify - https://g2ul0.app.link/nAu4hnmToHb
Watch the Episodes On Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/%20TheDiaryOfACEO/videos
Logan:
https://www.loganury.com
https://www.instagram.com/loganury/?hl=en
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The Love Expert: Why Women Are Addicted To F**k Boys & Why You Should "Have A 'Boring' Relationship Instead!" Logan Ury
Are we our own worst enemies when it comes to romance? What if instead, we dated like a scientist, using equations and analysis, rather than feelings and attraction to find love.
In this new episode Steven sits down with dating coach and behavioural scientist, Logan Ury.
Logan is a behavioural expert, dating coach and Director of Relationship Science at the dating app, Hinge. She is also the author of the book, ‘How To Not Die Alone’, which outlines the scientific theories she uses with her clients to help them find love.
In this conversation Logan and Steven discuss topics, such as:
Why Logan is a dating coach and her work with Hinge
How she helps people get out of their own way and find their dating blindspots
The ways that modern dating is very new for history
Researching the dating habits of Gen Z
Hiring a dating coach for herself
How Logan found her husband at work
Attachment theory and its importance for dating
How you can change your attachment style
The negativity bias and how our brain runs on ancient software
Why you should go for a securely attached person who may seem boring
The reasons that securely attached people are the heroes of the dating world
Why people are so addicted to f**k boys
The importance of taking a break during a fight
Understanding our dating patterns and how we can change them
The secretary problem and the maths of when to stop looking and choose someone
Digital Body Language and how it impacts dating
Why people confuse ‘ick’s’ for dealbreakers
Why you should overcome your ‘ick’s’
The 3 most common dating tendencies and unrealistic expectations
Why the dating environment is so important
How to date like a scientist
Why you shouldn't try to be perfect on a date
Vulnerability as a magnet for connection
The post date 8 checklist
Why you should ignore the spark and focus on the slow burn
What things matter less than people think for relationships and what do they underestimate
Why you need to be able to fight well in a relationship
The tips and tricks to a dating profile
why vulnerability is strength
The difference between a maximiser and a satisfier
Logan’s husbands cancer
Living on a commune
You can find out which of the 3 dating tendencies you are with Logan’s quiz, here: https://bit.ly/491O3lj
You can purchase Logan’s book, ‘How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love’, here: https://amzn.to/476uvdV
Follow Logan:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/3SddZUL
Twitter: https://bit.ly/46IWMqV
Follow me:
https://beacons.ai/diaryofaceo
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Couples, Money, and the Future of Dating Apps
In Pivot’s first (and possibly last) dating-themed show, Kara and Scott discuss expert predictions on the future of dating apps, and listener questions about romance, finance, and personal marketing.
You can find Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, on Twitter at @loganury and Julia Naftulin, Health Reporter at Insider, at @jnaftulin.
**Today’s show contains mature adult themes and is not intended for younger audience members.
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#457 - Logan Ury - Hinge's Relationship Scientist Gives Dating Advice
Logan Ury is the Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, a Harvard-trained behavioural scientist and an author.
Modern dating is difficult. Thankfully Logan has access to all the data from Hinge and can conduct as many studies as she wants on trends and preferences from thousands of people in and out of relationships.
Expect to learn why an intentional approach to dating seems like a turn-off but is a very smart strategy, why you should start looking to settle down after dating 30% of your partners, what the data tells us are the most important rules for constructing a successful dating profile, why chasing The Spark is a recipe for disaster, how to break up with someone, how to get over heartbreak and much more...
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